I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
No, seriously, I really do want to ask you out I don’t want to go on a date with you, but I do want to buy you lots drinks and watch the train wreck develop I’m putting in fake info to fuck with you I’m horribly desperate for anything male, and you fit the bill This is the final stage in a destructive spiral of self-loathing and despair It’s either this or jail time This is helping me stop masturbating so much I hate your fucking guts “It says ‘I choo-choo-choose you,’ and it has a picture of a train.” Why do you think you want to go out on a date with me? ” What is it that you find most attractive about me? He tells me to burn things.” What is your most defining feature or characteristic?
You seem interesting I think you’d be fun to get drunk with I want to end up in one of your stories or future books I feel strangely attracted to you I hate myself I’m one of those people who can’t divert their eyes from accident scenes, and you have that same effect on me I think your caustic and sarcastic exterior belies a sweet and caring inner self I want to give my VD to someone else before I die No, really, I enjoy having guys use me and treat me like shit “Which one is oral?
Deborah, a single in New York City, discovered the travel potential of dating services by accident: "I landed in Istanbul last year, and I logged into OKCupid, and this guy messages me, and asks if I want to get drinks," she said.
"And we had drinks, and hung out, and it was a super cool date." Deborah has found that meeting up with locals takes her to different parts of town and to more authentic restaurants and neighborhoods. Getting started on most of these apps is as easy as connecting your Facebook account.
We’ve rounded up our definitive guide to strange, unique and downright crazy dating…and you thought Tinder was too much.
What about a place you can bribe someone into loving you? No matter who you are and what your type is (even if you ain’t got no type, word to Rae Sremmurd), there’s a dating app or website out there for you. Sometimes you need to dangle something pretty in front of your future bae to get some action. There are some obvious carrots like lunch and spa dates, but this app leaves it open for how PG-13 you wanna get… According to the site, the “arrangement” is like a business deal in which you (the younger, hottie) plays the trophy to your baller boo.
I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.
: I’m not very attractive I’m cute I’m cute enough for you, assface I’m hot If you like morbidly obese, cross-eyed fat girls, you’ll LOVE me I’m a butter face I’m a Chicago girl (it means you have a hot face and a fat ass…and don’t email me pissed about this. : I can read enough to answer this I’m average I’m smart enough to get your stupid jokes I’m a fucking genius I can bend things with my mind I’m dumber than week-old bat shit Who are you to question the intelligence of anyone else? I like to use lots of exclamation points in my emails!!!! : I’m about average I’m pretty sane, but have some minor insecurities and peculiarities, just like everyone I’m very emotionally stable I am a rock I’m loonier than a shit-house rat I claw at my eyes, trying to get the demons out The doctor says he can’t increase my prescriptions anymore or he’d get in trouble Sometimes, the restraints chafe my wrists. I wonder how much money she cost him.” “She’s just a cheap hooker.
You don’t think that 80% of cute women in Chicago fit this description? I wonder how much smack she cost him.” “Should have been a blow job.” “Her shade of lipstick looks like the color you’d find at the base of a penis.” “Look at her…did she just get released from a methadone clinic?
Are you a dog or a cat person (or eeks, a snake person?! Pet owners usually like other pet owners, and Pet People Meet is one of many that brings them together. Green Singles Mmm this you’re as sweet as raw cane sugar. If your chakras are aligned and you’re one with the Universe, find a fellow conscious orb of energy on Spiritual Singles. Sly Dial Don’t you hate calling someone and having to actually, like talk to them? No more phone jitters..your cool-as-a-cucumber message.
Sly Dial lets you call your sweetie and goes straight to voicemail.